If he preaches against worldly spending, he's a miser !
If he discourages laying up something for a rainy day, he's a spendthrift
!
If he holds a lady parisher's hand too long, he's flirting;
If he barely touches her, he's trying to ignore her !
If he eats a hearty meal, he's a glutton;
If he picks a light dinner, he's finicky !
If he takes a sip of wine with dinner, he's a wine bibber;
If he abstains completely, he's a tee-totaling fanatic !
If he preaches patriotism, he's a die-hard conservative;
If he criticizes the government, he's a traitor !
If he pastors a large church, he's preaching for numbers;
If he pastors a small congregation, he's a failure !
If he has a large family, he's looking for a hand-out;
If he has no children, he's against the family plan !
If he enjoys outdoor sports, he's a pleasure seeker;
If he's a homebody, he's neglecting his physical well being !
If he's against abortion, he's discriminating against women !
If he's against free love out of wedlock, he's old fashioned !
If he refuses his pulpit to a (so called, woman preacher), he's a chauvinist
pig !
If he invites outsiders to preach, he's shirking his duty.
If he visits the homes of his congregation, he's checking up;
If he fails to visit, he's unconcerned about their welfare.
If he pushes the foreign mission program, he cares nothing for the
home church;
If he fails to stress foreign missions, he cares nothing for lost souls
abroad.
If he preaches on church improvements, he's a financial nagger;
If he neglects the upkeep of the church, he's a slumlord.
If he suggests financial budgeting, he's trying to control the church
coffers;
If he stresses liberal improvements, he's a squanderer.
If he preaches against race mixing, he's a prejudiced bigot;
If he encourages integration, he's an Uncle Tom.
If he accepts evangelistic labors, he's a world traveler;
If he refuses such invitations, he's a jealous pastor.
If he insists the nursery be used, he's a baby hater;
If he ignores the crying, he runs a disorderly service.
If he approves several deacons, he's appointed majority rule;
If he opposes deacons, he's a self appointed dictator.
So, why does the God called preacher endure this 'no thanks, can't win'
occupation?
For several reasons:
1. the Boss is super to work for,
2. the pay's not too good but the retirement plan can't be beat,
3. the retirement home is out of this world, in fact it's
Heavenly,
4. and the souls he spends retirement with are perfect Saints
! |
